Mentalizing
Understanding behaviour through mental states
Ask: what might have been on their mind?
Not-knowing stance
Curious, never assuming
Sounds like: "Help me understand…"
Curiosity
Genuine interest in minds
Sounds like: "I wonder what that was like"
Epistemic trust
Openness to learning from others
Grows when people feel understood
Psychic equivalence
Thoughts feel like reality
Sounds like: "I feel useless, so I am"
Pretend mode
Talk without feeling
Looks like: long, empty intellectualising
Teleological mode
Only actions prove intentions
Sounds like: "If you cared, you'd…"
Affect focus
Name the feeling in the room
Try: "This feels tense between us"
Stop and rewind
Pause and replay the moment
Try: "Can we go back to just before?"
Validation
Acknowledge the experience first
Try: reflect the feeling before exploring
Contrary moves
Balance self and other, thought and feeling
Try: shift when one side dominates
Mentalizing the relationship
Explore what is happening between us
Ask: "How did you see my reaction?"
Mentalization cards: MBT stance and questions
Mentalizing stanceNon-mentalizing modesInterventions
Based on Bateman & Fonagy (2016), Mentalization-Based Treatment for Personality Disorders
What was going on for you then?
Self: inner states
What do you think they were feeling?
Other: inner states
What else might they have meant?
Alternative perspectives
How do you make sense of that?
Reflection over reaction
What did you feel in your body?
Feeling, then thought
When did the feeling start?
Rewind to the moment
How sure are you about that?
Minds are hard to read
What did you hope would happen?
Intentions behind actions
How might they see you?
Self through others' eyes
What changed between you?
The relationship itself
What do you imagine I'm thinking?
The therapy relationship
Could there be another explanation?
Flexibility of mind
Mentalization cards: MBT stance and questions: Questions that invite mentalizing
Based on Bateman & Fonagy (2016), Mentalization-Based Treatment for Personality Disorders
